


Chasing The Light

by AnonymouslyDepressed



Series: Chasing The Light [2]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: (kinda drarry inspired..?), Aman and Kartik hate each other (at first), Angst, Comforting!Aman, Homophobia, Hurt!Kartik, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Murder Mystery, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Supportive!Shankar, Supportive!Sunaina, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24369658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyDepressed/pseuds/AnonymouslyDepressed
Summary: Kartik found himself at the wrong place in the wrong time. The situation that led left him blank inside out. But during this darkness, someone unexpected showed up...
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Series: Chasing The Light [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775416
Comments: 17
Kudos: 32





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS (except two or three maybe). T-SERIES AND COLOURS YELLOW PRODUCTION OWNS THEM. Also this story contains some triggering subjects which might not be suitable for everyone. I would mark those parts for your convenience. Happy reading!

_Prologue_

Kartik's PoV

My head was spinning. There in front of me was a body, lying limp on the ground. I took small steps towards it. My mind felt blank, not a single thought but fear written all over it. Sweat dropped from my eyebrows. My eyes were wide as an owl with horror. 'It can't be him. No.' My thoughts chanted repeatedly. There was a thick, dark liquid all over the room.

_Blood._

I sat down on my knees in front of the body. The curtains flowed with the wind. The rain drops pattered on the ground. I lifted a shaking hand to roll the body over. My breathing was unnaturally fast. And then the face of the body was revealed. The familiar face I saw everyday. And then I broke. I cried, my pathetic sound echoing in the dark room.

"Papa! Aap-" (Papa! You-)A sob broke out of my throat and I held onto his body like a lifeline. "I am sorry! Mujhe nahi jaana chahiye tha aapko chodd ke!" (I shouldn't have left you!) I cried to the dead body which can't hear me. But I couldn't resist. I was covered in blood. _Papa's blood._ Something sharp hit my hand near the body. I lifted up to see a kitchen knife, it's blade red.

I didn't had any family except my father. But our relationship wasn't that normal. After the day I came out to my dad as gay, he treated my as an outsider. We had fought over small things and out of nowhere, he would change the topic to my sexuality. He was a known businessman in the city so almost half the city knew about our little rivalry, although the reason is still hidden.

The servants of the house usually came at five in the morning and left at ten. That day, I had a big argument with him for the same reasons. When he had stopped listening, I ignored him and left. I got home late due to the rain. I regretted ever going out that day. At that moment, I regretted saying the things, _awful_ things I had ever said to him. Now his blood painted my hands. Now I would never see him argue with me ever again.

I must've cried too loud because I heard some footsteps and a loud gasp. "Aapne apne papa ko-" (Your dad, you-) It was one of our neighbours, the guards trailing in after.

"Nahin aap jaisa soch rahi hain waisa-" (It's not what you thi-) I hurriedly said between sobs.

"Call the police, ABHI!" She screamed. "Psycho!"

I froze at my spot, shaking my head frantically. My heart was beating fast. _'She thinks I murdered him. I didn't. I couldn't. How can I? He was my father after all. We hadn't liked each other but never have I ever thought-'_ My train of thoughts was interrupted by a noise.

Police siren. _'Oh no'_

"Wahaan, officer! Usne kiya hai." The lady pointed at me. I was flabbergasted and was caught off-guard when I felt a cold, metallic thing around my wrists.

"Main explain kar sakta hoon." (I can explain) I said, shaking my hand out of the officer's grasp.

"Jo bhi bolna hai, court mein jaa kar bolna" (You can explain to the court) The man tugged hard at the handcuffs which felt like my wrists were half sliced. I tried hard, really hard to explain the situation but got ignored. He pushed me into the police van.

Till now, everyone in the region knew about this and everyone was out of the house, glaring at me. I was still crying with the pain of loss but now something squeezed my stomach and I almost felt like puking. It was fear, I knew that.

My body ached dully. I just wanted to jump out of that van and end it all. But I had no guts. I just sat there, my mind still on that face I saw inside my house. Covered with blood, a cut on his throat, his eyes unmoving, his body as hard as stone, his black hair matted, the warmth left. The tears still burned my eyes. I lifted my hand to rub them off. Then my eyes caught sight of the handcuffs and all the reason I had to live left me alone, unsafe, unsure and hopeless.

The van came to a hault, the breaks screeching. A large hand pushed me off the van roughly, holding my arm tightly as a chain holding a dangerous animal in a zoo. _'Have I become one of it? An animal? Was it me who killed papa? Am I forgetting it?'_

When I came back to my senses, I was already getting put inside a cell. It was dark, damp even. It only contained a bed made out of a stone platform and an earthen pot and a steel glass on top of it. I felt weak. _'This is my end, isn't it?'_

_To be_ _continued_ _........._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are highly appreciated! Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Hopeless and Unsure

_Hopeless and Unsure_

_Kartik's PoV_

A sound like a metal screeching echoed the small cell I were in, followed by footsteps. I never cared. These were the same old sound I heard every minute now. _'The visitors for the other cells...'_ I thought as I continued staring at the walls, every crack in it memorized. I never had track of time, my mind aimlessly wandering back to the night that changed my life.

I was broke out of my reverie when I heard the bars to my cell open. I looked up, uninterested until I saw the face that stood there with red, puffy eyes and damp cheeks. _'So unlike her usual self.'_ I was surprised. She was someone who never gave fucks for anyone, its hard to see her this broken. My heart clenched and I stared at her, tears threatening to come out. My mouth suddenly felt dry and there was a large bump inside my throat which restrained me of speaking anything.

"Devika..." I finally managed out. It was almost as light as a whisper. But she heard it. I knew she did because then she just embraced me in her arms, crying. Her hand caressed the back of my head like a reassurance of a mother to her son.

_Mother._ After my father, she was the closest thing to me as a family. We were not siblings, nor cousins, nor lovers, but she always loved me and felt like home to me. She was a friend but at the same time, she was like a mother. Listening to my complain and giving me solutions. She never had a feeling of a friend but an older sister.

At that moment, she just cried. And I did too. Because we knew that everything would be changed after this. Nothing would be like before. This incident, it changed lives drastically. We can never be those childish adults that we used to be. Its not going to be the same.

After a few moments, she finally retrieved her arms back, only a ghost of her warmth remaining on me. She sat down beside me and we were under a comfortable silence for a long moment. "Do hi dino mein tu kitna badal gaya hai." (You have changed a lot in only two days.) I smiled sadly. It felt like only a few hours since we last talked, sitting at her house's terrace, talking about our love lives or mostly she talking me listening.

"Kya karein. Kuch cheezein hoti hain jo hume kuch palon mein ek dusra insaan bana deti hain." (What can be done. Some things can make you a different person just in a few moments.) I sighed, staring into spaces. She put a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Tujhe shayad pata hoga ki main yahaan sirf milne nahi aai hoon." (You might know that I am not here to meet you only.) I knew that. But I was not ready for it. Plus, someone had to work for me because this case is a huge one. Its not like popular businessmen get murdered everyday. Of course there would be trials involved.

I just nodded to her, closing my eyes. "Tujhe lagta hai koi lawyer _mere_ liye ladega. Because jahaan tak main jaanta hoon, mere paas na hi evidence hai aur na witness." (Do you think that any lawyer could fight for _me._ Because, as far as I know, neither do I have any evidence nor any witness) She looked at me but she was in deep thought. When she was unable to find an answer, she just sighed and looked away. "Par hume one week ke andar ek lawyer present krna padega. Warna tere upar sara kasoor aa jaega aur phir..." (But we have to present a lawyer under one week. Or all the blame would be upon you and you would..." She trailed off. _'The consequences, ah yes.'_ The unsaid words were the harsh truths that I would face, regardless of help because a proof is the most important part of a trial. And I lacked that.

"Pandra minute aur baat kar lijiye. Aapka visiting time over hone waala hai." (You have fifteen minutes to talk. Your visiting time will be over soon.) The prison caretaker said, hitting the iron bars with his stick and then moving on to see the other cells. Devika then hurriedly held my face in her hands, demanding me to look in her eyes. "Sun! Tum bilkul bhi pareshaan nhi hoge. I am here. Main sab manage kar lungi. Tujhe woh Aman yaad hai?" (Listen. Do not worry at all. I am here. I will manage everything. You remember that Aman?)

"Haan woh college wala?" (Yeah that college one?)

"Yes. Uske papa na-" (Yes. His father is-)

"No."

"Kya?" (What?)

"Kisi se bhi help ke liye pooch lo, magar usse nahi." (Ask anyone for help but not him.)

"Kya yeh bachchon ki tarah ladne ka samay hai?" (Is this the time to fight like kids?) Her voice was accusing and I had actually felt kinda guilty. But I was too stubborn to admit defeat so soon. She knew about my rivalry with that boy. She knew he had said some awful things about my family, although that fight was initiated by me. After that incident, we treated each other like the worst enemies possible.

And at the end Devika just glared. I was wrong and acting childish but no one cared, except her, that is.

"Dikha apni garmi. Main bhi dekhu ki kab tak tu dikha sakega." (Be stubborn. Let us see for how long will you be able to show it.) I regret to say this but she was right. Because the incidents that follow after that, well...

_**To be continued...........** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather short chapter this was.... Reviews are highly appreciated! Hope you enjoyed! The trigger warnings will apply after this chapter. BEAWARE!


	3. Trials and Iron Bars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would recommend to listen to the song Human by Christina Perri while reading this chapter to enhance your experience.

**Trials and Iron Bars**

_Kartik's PoV_

Everything seemed distant. My nails digged in the painted wood I held on for support. After my last talk with Devika, she managed to find a defence lawyer who was willing to stand for him. The trials had already started but I was too distracted, half of my mind on the consequences.

"Anita ji, Mr. Kartik aur unke pita ke beech kaisa rishta tha?" (Mrs Anita, how were the relations between Mr Kartik and hi father?)

"Kartik baba humesha unse ladte rehte the. Choti-Choti baton pe ladai hoti thi dono ki. (Kartik baba was use to always arguing with him. They both fought over small things.

"Koi main wajah ladai ka? Kuch bhi?" (Any specific reason for the fight? Any?) The eyes of the lawyer shone bright. The lady was one of the servants. She was't any close to me or papa but she had an idea of every gossip going around the house. She had even told me once or twice about the other servants but I never paid any mind to her. But this time, she just shook her head and lowered her head. _'Understandable. Me and papa were secretive about my situation'._

"Aap apni seat par ja sakti hain."(You can go back to your seat.) There was a fleck of disappointment in his voice as he turned back to the chief justice. "So you see, my lord, ek baap aur bete ke beech mein zyadatar kis baat ke liye ladai hoti hai? Paisa, freedom ya phir Kartik ji ki age ke hisaab se, girlfriend. Aur jaisa thodi der pehle suna tha inke padosi se," (So you see, my lord, usually what are the reasons for a fight between a father and his son? Money, freedom or, looking at Mr. Kartik's age, Girlfriend. And as we heard from one of his neighbor,) He pointed his finger at me and I saw red, shaking with the anger I felt. "Kartik ji ko puri freedom mil rahi thi. So we have only two options left." (Mr. Kartik was getting full freedom. That only leaves us with two options.) He paused for a moment and turned back to the audience who were whispering silently amongst each other. He searched it with his brown eyes. Suddenly, his lips curled into a sickly smile.

"I want to call Miss Devika, Mr Kartik's closest friend, in the witness box." The smile was giving me chills. He had something planned for her. And that something is nothing good. I had seen that in his eyes. Devika too, when stood up from her place, noticed this and glanced back at me, an expression unreadable deep in her eyes but it was just too hard to decipher. _'Is that fear? No. Surely not. Then...'_ I classified it as confusion. I gave her a small shrug in return. By now my legs were stiff while standing for the entire time I was there.

After the oath taking ritual, the questions finally started. "Devika ji, kya Kartik ji ka koi sambandh hai? Kisi ladki ke saath?" (Miss Devika, does Mr. Kartik have any relationship? With a girl, that is?) I almost wanted to laugh at that moment. _'Yeah. Ladki.'_ There was still that expression, but more clear now. It was _'Guilt? Why?'_ She shook her head, her eyes still trained on me, as if she tried to convey me something. I stared at her for any kind of hint she could give, every sound in that room almost inaudible to me.

And then I saw it and after that, everything was in slowmotion.

Her dark, puffy eyes darted ever so lightly towards the audience. I followed her line of sight and almost dodged an urge to gasp. There was Ravi, Devika's soon to be husband, sitting there, his eyes wild. And just beside him was a police officer guarding, his hand holding the shot gun like he would kill someone at any moment of time. I then understood the evil trap he was getting into. It was all a plan. Plan to lure me to the jail so that someone else could get their hands on the wealth my father so hardly earned. And just that was gonna happen if I....

_'Devika is getting forced to give false statements or..THE TRUTH!'_ This realization hit me a little too late. My mind came back from its trance and might've missed more than half the questioning because a sharp yelling voice cut through the air. "AAP SACCHAI CHUPA RAHI HAIN! KYA HAI SACCHAI?!" (YOU ARE HIDING THE TRUTH! WHAT IS IT?!) My lawyer was in halfway in reporting an objection against intimidating a witness when Devika's voice answered back.

"YAHI KI Kartik..." (ONLY THAT Kartik...) A pause. During that time, she looked back up at me. I just nodded at her to go on. I knew how much she loved the boy who, right now, was at gunpoint. If she had answered in my behalf, then she would've lost her loved one. I never wanted to be the reason for someone's death, no one does. I can go to prison if that means that I could save someone. It doesn't matter that Section 377 is back up and her small statement can give me an imprisonment of a lifetime. If it were a normal situation, Devika would smack my head and scold me for my idiocy and having my ever so martyr thinking.

I saw a tear slide down her cheek as she opened her mouth to complete her sentence. And I too felt like crumbling down as I set all my emotions free, lowering my head and accepting my faith. _'Time to say goodbye to life.'_

"Kartik ko l-ladkiyan.....n-nahi pa-pasand. He likes boys." (Kartik d-doesn't.....He do-doesn't l-like gir-girls. He likes boys.) And everything felt blur after that.

**_ To be continued..... _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliché, isn't it? Anyway, hope you enjoyed!


	4. Time Flies By

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Ghost by Halsey while reading this chapter to enhance your experience. Happy Reading!

_Time Flies By_

_Kartik's PoV_

||Three Years Later...||

I woke up, cold air hitting my face in a painstaking way. My whole body feels like its been set on fire. Every inch of me feels like its gonna rip apart. I don't have any memory of yesterday. My eyes only meets the darkness between the four walls I've been kept for....I don't know. Everything feels so distant, like it was an eternity before when I was pushed into this mess. After that unfaithful day, however, Devika continued to meet me every once in a while. But that too got prohibited when the police got orders from an unknown source.

With my feverish body, I stand up, my legs shaking. Slowly I reach the sink, turning on the tap. I retreived my aching hands and splattered the cold but not so clean water on my face, the drops trickling down and getting mixed with my sweat. My whole head was paining like there were thousands of pins pricking in my skin. It was almost impossible to stand so I leaned into the cold wall beside the sink for support. But as soon as my back hit the stone, a jolt of pain rose suddenly and it was enough to make me unbalanced and fall on all my fours. And at that moment, my vision started to blur, as if in a trance. I was so busy to hang onto any last piece of conciousness that I didn't hear the screeching of metal against stone.

The door opened, light seeping in through it. Two large figures in uniform approached me, holding onto my arms on both the sides. I shivered with the sudden contact and tried in vain to retrieve myself from them on instinct. Somehow I found my voice which was almost inaudible. "Don't t-touch me." With all the strength managed to conjure, I pushed myself away from those large hands. They talked in hushed voices and, once again, tried to make me stand. I tried with all of myself to struggle away from those hands. The only thing that was in my thoughts was _'Not again. Not this time. I can't let them.'_ By now tears started to well in my eyes. The urge to just run away was too much. But I knew not a single of my struggles would work because at that moment, my vision started to darken and I slumped in the hold.

I felt myself being half carried half dragged across the corridor as I finally gave up to the unconciousness that so desparately grabbed onto me and I was thrown back into a black abyss.

* * *

_Aman's PoV_ (Surprise!!)

I waited outside the gates, pacing in impatience. _'Why is it taking so long? Is he okay.....'_ Something in me said no but I tried to believe otherwise. The waiting was adding on to my frustration and I just wanted to break something, anything to release it. The cold air of November was hitting my skin, making me pull at the wool cloak tighter. It was winter already in Delhi. There was only a faint sunlight which was nothing before the cold.

Finally the large metal gates opened. I turned in anticipation, only to see that it is not the person I was expecting. "..sir?" It was the jail caretaker. I looked at him with narrowed eyes, managing to make my voice formal at the same time. "Woh.....kahaan hai? Thik toh hai na?" (Where....is he? Is he okay?) The officer looked at me weirdly, as if I was an alien talking to him. It was infuriating. _'I know the reason of his displeasure.'_

"Aapko thoda wait karna hoga. Usko idhar laate samay woh behosh ho gaya. Humne doctor ko bulaya hai." (You have to wait a little. He fainted while coming here. We have called the doctor.) My anger was at its peak and I failed to bottle it up. My eyes were wide with rage.

"Kya hua hai use?" (What happened to him?) I said through clenched teeth, every word leaking with venom. Something shifted in the man's eyes. I didn't care, continuing anyway. "Koi zarurat nahi hai aapke doctor ki. Main use apne saath le kar ja raha hoon. Aap bas use bahar le aayen. (There is no need for your doctor. He is going back with me. You just call him out.)

He nodded, although hesitant, and disappeared back into the large gates, although it was not very long before there were sounds coming from inside. I hurried towards the gate but was stopped by the guards who blocked my way and ordered me to stay back. But I was not the one to just go away. I came here for a reason. For a chance to save the man whose friend did everything in her power to take him out of this hell hole.

Three months ago, a weary, weak and broken woman had stepped on my doorstep, a little baby in her arms. But she never once looked down. Weak but bold. I hadn't liker Devika that much since my very first year in college. But even though she was now tainted with the word traitor to her friend, she was as bold as ever. She seeked the help of my uncle during that September morning, to right the things she did wrong. I was more than happy to be getting to set our differences aside and what could be better than that. And from that day onwards, we did everything we could to bring justice to the person who I once hated. And we were finally successful.

The man that was carried out was not the person I knew, every single thing of him was different. I blankly stared at him for a while, not understanding what was wrong. What is happening to him? Or more likely, what is happening to me? Why does my stomach feel so weird?............

_**To Be Continued........** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sooo sorry for late update. I was caught up in a writer's block. But hope you enjoyed the chapter. The angst is entailing this so beware. Reviews make me happy :)


	5. Reunion

_❝The man that was carried out was not the person I knew, every single thing of him was different. I blankly stared at him for a while, not understanding what was wrong. What is happening to him? Or more likely, what is happening to me? Why does my stomach feel so weird?............❞_

_Third Person PoV_

Aman ignored that thought, instead walking to Kartik's side and putting his hands around his arms to hold him up securely. He turned back one last time to glance at the iron gates. _'I hope this is the last time I'll ever see this place....'_ And with that, he moved towards his car, holding the man tight to resist him from falling.

Opening the gate to the passanger seat, he let Kartik slide into the seat and fastened the seatbelt around him as he was still unconcious. And for the first time, he properly saw him closely. He saw that his face was now graced with a grown beard, his hair almost touching his shoulder. _'He looks like a bloody caveman._ ' Aman thought, chuckling under his breath but then sobered. Kartik needed immediate medication, if the fever was any sign. There will be much time to joke around. But right now wasn't certainly the time for that.

The car now speeded through the surprisingly barren roads of Delhi. The drive was smooth and on the way, Aman had informed Devika about Kartik's condition and that they were now heading to the hospital.

After they arrived, though, the unconcious man was scurried to one of the beds and was now in a separate room while the doctors checked him up. A short while later, the doctor allowed Aman inside the room. Inside, Kartik was sleeping, his chest rising and lowering lightly. At that moment he looked so peaceful but still there were glimmers of sadness on his face.

Aman lowered himself down on a chair beside the bed and just stared at the lying figure in front of him. The things that had happened to him, they were not at all fair. And Aman was determined to help him out of it, even if it's just to seek friendship out of it. His hand then moved on it's own accord and settled it on the hand that was limp at Kartik's side. He felt an unknown surge of anger on nobody in particular. 

And that was when Kartik's eyes slowly opened and focused on him. Aman was oblivious of this and sat their, holding his hand. Kartik hectically retracted his hand, as if burned, and sat up. Aman looked up to see the Horror stricken face he had. He was mumbling incoherent things as he slowly slid to the edge of the bed as if being any nearer to Aman would give him some type of disease. The other man was shocked but at the same time, curious of the reaction. He had thought of Kartik shouting at him or hit him but not fear, never fear.

As if on cue, the door to the room opened and in came a desparate Devika who, when noticing Kartik, ran towards him and embraced him in a tight hug. She was sobbing loudly as she chanted the words "I am sorry." Kartik was caught off guard but then realised the identity of the woman who clutched on him like a lifeline. He slowly lifted his hand and hugged her back, his eyes shimmering with tears. Aman felt like a third wheel and so decided on going outside and buy something to eat or he would die of starvation. He only had a cup of tea before leaving in the excitement of the reward they are finally getting after three months of hard working.

Devika had retreated but still held onto Kartik's hand as if he would disappear if she let him go. Kartik was still in a shock but now a small light of happiness made his eyes shine. They were still dull, yes, but not as sad as before.

"I am sorry ki maine tujhe usi samay bachaya nahi." (I am sorry that I didn't save you at that time.) She said in a voice almost like a whisper. Kartik smiled sadly and said up in a cracked voice. "Maaf kiya." (Apology accepted.) She just held onto his hands tighter and continued to cry.

_**To be continued......** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can now say that my updates are not gonna be constant. I will notify you whenever I update on my Instagram @cinnamon.___.roll . Reviews are always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> This story would be updated every week. Also, the main plot would start after a few chapters.


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